Days of our lives

 

Wagging tongues definitely make for days of our lives. And how? The social and personal lives of others make for much juicier topics than the many real issues in the world, even crime. This is how social norms are often formed by the opinions expressed in circles of gossip. Can people who are divorced remarry their previous spouses or can a divorced person marry a person who was not married before?

These are the details discussed and analysis are made of the parties to such marriages. Divorce happens. Sometimes the parties are too hasty and do not give reconciliation a chance or it is just a decision that works for them at the time. Circumstances can change afterwards and there is a mutual understanding and agreement to remarry the ex-spouse. What is there to talk about except others may learn from it. Nevertheless, a prayer is welcome. Many-a time these marriages are better than their first stab at marriage. Of course, there are a few that go exactly like the first time they were married to each other. And that is life. There is no problem getting back with your ex-spouse, so negative chatter about it is uncalled for and problematic. People make mistakes in marriage for a number of reasons and marriages fail. These people have not given up on the sanctity of marriage and later remarry someone who may not have been married before. Why is the divorcee’s status important beyond the few that really matter. It may matter to the inner circle if there are children from the previous marriage. Other than that, the normal background check on the prospective spouse is in order. Outsiders should only contribute if they have pertinent information for either party to the marriage. Otherwise, there is no need for talk to be about the previous status of either party. Why must you be like that?

Now let them getting married and pray for them.

 

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Entry Level

 

“Jam and bread” are often considered the minimum to survive on when times are tough. This got me thinking what the minimum needs are to get through life.

It is a tricky question. Parents today look at their kids and it as if they are merely providing them with a base. Daily they send them to school and then the kids return. Some kids go to “slamse skool” or madressa or madrassah in the afternoon. Others might go on a weekend. Some never go. The parents are proud when the pass this grade and the next and so on. So, some parents sit with the kids with their homework and even do their projects. Then there is that thing called exams. However, considering all this, many parents do not really have a clue what their kids learn, whether they fulfil their potential and where they are headed. Of course, people are more clueless when it comes to Islamic studies. The question is still “what is the minimum requirements to get through life?”.  Can you articulate this with respect to yourself and your children? Dare I say that if there is focus, then it is in the wrong place. Were you created to avoid eating jam and bread so that you are not at the poverty line? That is the physical aspect? What is the bread and jam on the religious and spiritual front?

The Muslims have been in the Cape for over three hundred years. How is there no plan, a culture in place that sets the basis for Muslims and those that share similar ethics and morals?  Are we in equipped to pass through this world and exit it into paradise? Are we lacking resources or is it about whether you and I are teachable and are prepared to work together for mutual benefit in this world and beyond? Perhaps, for starters let each one assess his and his family’s situation whether they meet the minimum requirements to go through life. A time to brainstorm, don’t you think?

 

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Koesiestes or koeksusters - That is the Question

 

Koesiestes are not koeksusters. You have to say it like it was meant to be said and how we have come to know it. Cuisine is part of culture. Language is part of culture. Mentality is part of culture?

Strong communities have a strong culture that permeates throughout. That we come from various backgrounds and integrated into our “newfound” environment and land would have impacted culture to some degree. The abolition of apartheid resulted in further integration.  Television, movies and other forms of entertainment certainly have its fair share of eroding culture. Then we have an education system that, while may be taught by members of our community, the system, with its contents, is not ours. You will argue that we have a fair bit of culture left and you will point to titbits  by which few, if any, will define us. We are no longer distinct except, as you say, those titbits. Others will argue that we are South African and that it is right that we are integrated. No major qualms about that except that South Africans do not have a unique culture (more about that another time). And if you believe that diversity is our culture then why use the term “cultural diversity”. And before you get all like “what is your point?”, let me clarify. As Muslims we ought to be at the forefront of all things good. We ought to be standouts and be “the best evolved for mankind”. Yet, here we are, hardly noticeable except if someone needs to add the tag “terrorist” to someone or if there is a Palestinian march. Now the Palestinian, Al-Aqsa, matter is massive, but we cannot be defined by that. We ought to be more than that.

Our language is not unique, and the question is “can it be” with some at least trying to keep in touch with how our forefathers spoke Afrikaans way before anybody else. Our cuisine has integrated and lost its taste as the multinational food franchise products are seemingly more desirable. Our weddings are held at wine farms. If we then go down the list, then there are a few religious rituals “defining” the culture albeit that is holding on by a thread. Dress code does not make the list for culture. Oh, you will be frowning that I don’t mention the klopse and Malay choir as part of culture. I will come back to you on that.

The bottom line is that to make a meaningful impact, there must be a clearly visible culture. A visible culture is part of the fabric of every member of that community. Are we then not just a random group of people and not a community?

 

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