How many wives?

 

You know when you sit in a social gathering and there is one guy that knows everything. Nobody seems to disagree with him even though he has no facts. He states his opinion as if it is fact. You all know that guy. Sometimes you have to look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are that guy. Without overstepping religious rulings and law, you can have a discussion on certain matters. A fair example will be polygamy. Most will agree that it is permissible, but many will argue about attaching conditions.

Now, I need to ask the women to bear with me. You often hear almost everyone saying that Islam is the solution and has all the answers. I will make point for argument and debate because we must not be shy to talk openly, but, of course, decently and within the ambit of Shari’ah. If Muslims provided the shield for women such that her honour and dignity is protected and preserved, we will have to do a few things differently. Marriage is one such institution that is the cornerstone of society. However, the standard of living of Muslims are more inclined to this world than the hereafter which means that marriages take place later and later in life. Secondly, the societal-induced demands make marriage and parenting expensive. Immediately, I hear you blame it on the economy. There is some justification in that. But it was not always this drastic. Rather, the local societal norm has not been Islam-centric, except for some of the rituals. I dare say, with the “pace” of life and the focus, that the younger generation may be struggling to know right from wrong. Society, today, is more accepting of new norms which should at least be frowned upon than, as example, accepting polygamy, or more specifically, polygyny. Before anybody gets carried away and marries more wives, there is much to clean up in our society. The cleaning up of society and the promotion of polygyny go hand-in-hand. Of course, the few that are capable, in the full sense of the word, to care for more than one wife properly and correctly, should carry on. For the majority, cleaning up means to improve the education on the subject of gender, marriage, parenting, etc. This must be the start of building our society and improving our overall condition.

I raise the issue of polygyny because it is frowned upon by Muslims of the Cape, in general, while new norms regarding marriage and related subjects are more acceptable to them. Perhaps through healthy discussion everyone can benefit, especially if it is in line with the view that Islam has the solutions.

 

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