How many wives?

 

You know when you sit in a social gathering and there is one guy that knows everything. Nobody seems to disagree with him even though he has no facts. He states his opinion as if it is fact. You all know that guy. Sometimes you have to look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are that guy. Without overstepping religious rulings and law, you can have a discussion on certain matters. A fair example will be polygamy. Most will agree that it is permissible, but many will argue about attaching conditions.

Now, I need to ask the women to bear with me. You often hear almost everyone saying that Islam is the solution and has all the answers. I will make point for argument and debate because we must not be shy to talk openly, but, of course, decently and within the ambit of Shari’ah. If Muslims provided the shield for women such that her honour and dignity is protected and preserved, we will have to do a few things differently. Marriage is one such institution that is the cornerstone of society. However, the standard of living of Muslims are more inclined to this world than the hereafter which means that marriages take place later and later in life. Secondly, the societal-induced demands make marriage and parenting expensive. Immediately, I hear you blame it on the economy. There is some justification in that. But it was not always this drastic. Rather, the local societal norm has not been Islam-centric, except for some of the rituals. I dare say, with the “pace” of life and the focus, that the younger generation may be struggling to know right from wrong. Society, today, is more accepting of new norms which should at least be frowned upon than, as example, accepting polygamy, or more specifically, polygyny. Before anybody gets carried away and marries more wives, there is much to clean up in our society. The cleaning up of society and the promotion of polygyny go hand-in-hand. Of course, the few that are capable, in the full sense of the word, to care for more than one wife properly and correctly, should carry on. For the majority, cleaning up means to improve the education on the subject of gender, marriage, parenting, etc. This must be the start of building our society and improving our overall condition.

I raise the issue of polygyny because it is frowned upon by Muslims of the Cape, in general, while new norms regarding marriage and related subjects are more acceptable to them. Perhaps through healthy discussion everyone can benefit, especially if it is in line with the view that Islam has the solutions.

 

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Authentic us (capemuslimspeak.blogspot.com)

 

Picture courtesy - https://muslimvillage.com

Authentic us

Captivity is a lonely place. The lonely place is worse if there is no willingness to turn back unless you believe that you deserve to be captured or you are unaware that you are captured. Bear with me and I will explain.

History tells us that there were two colonisers in the cape since the seventeenth century. Both these colonisers brought slaves and labourers to the shores of Africa and subjugated the indigenous people. The early “Cape Malays” rejected their oppression and refused to speak the language of the oppressor, viz Dutch.  Afrikaans was a language that was in defiance of the colonisers. As much as our Afrikaans, which some now call afrikaaps, is still spoken, there was a readiness and eagerness to adopt the language of the second coloniser, specifically in the twentieth century. The ruling class during the apartheid years also successfully took Afrikaans as their language. Language forms a big part of culture and identity. Without our own language, our people readily became captives of the oppressor. With their language, they also introduced us to their schools and their system of education. You will ask “what is wrong with that?” and the answer is simple. We think and talk like them. The solutions we seek is from what they have taught us. Nothing comes from us, from our background and there is a straying from our roots and even faith. Our faith is the cornerstone of our culture, yet our thinking is eroding that too. Were it to be said that the Muslims from Cape Town can make a difference en masse, then clearly it will be hard to draw them in one single direction. Now people will think differently, but the core will be the same. We have bathed in the system of the oppressor and since when is benevolence used to describe an oppressor. But it seems that you are grateful. We cannot turn the clock back but, most importantly, we must come to the realisation that we have been captured and seek to regain something of our identity.

The little we have we must cling onto it. Our faith must be strengthened by giving greater attention to the study and implementation of religion. The smaller things must not easily fall by the wayside, things like the cuisine that is synonymous with us culturally, and the little bit of our Afrikaans. Those who speak other languages, other than the oppressor’s language, must reclaim that and make it common amongst the people. When there is a common cause, purpose, goal then progress is easier. The right culture is strong and protects every member of that group.

 

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The Cape Muslim Dialogue: Does your tastebuds define your culture (capemuslimspeak.blogspot.com)

 

Picture courtesy https://www.sahistory.org.za

Does your tastebuds define your culture

 

A friend of mine separates the different food groups on his plate. After consuming it, these different food groups will end up in the same stomach. I guess for taste, there may be a need but then he does mix it on his fork or hand when he actually eats it. So, it reminds me of a discussion we had in a group last week. No, not about food, but racism.

Racism does not have to be taught consciously but the idea of superiority is something that may be in the culture of a family or a community. Sometimes racism is a subconscious personal choice. Listening to the discussion, you cannot deny that there is racism within the Muslim community. The one that is undeniable, yet some will dispute, is the racism from the apartheid days as we differentiate according to that racial classification. Then there was the deep-rooted racism which has, to a large degree, been overcome but what remains are more than mere remnants. While the colour card is rife, racism is further entrenched in ethnic backgrounds of the Muslim community. The Indian-Malay issue, as example, has made positive progress, but sadly today, there are individuals who scorn the other party and still use derogatory terms.   

In terms of marriage, there may be argument that vastly different cultures can cause issues in marriage. However, there is no need to be prejudiced and act with a level of superiority. With that in mind, address the other party with respect and, in turn, build a culture of love and mutual understanding.  You can easily say that Muslims in Cape Town are not ready for “Bilal” to knock on your door and ask for your daughter’s hand in marriage. If you thrive on racism, then certainly you are gripped by much “ignorance”. Racism cannot be wished away but we must educate and change the mindset. When, you generalise and address matters with a racial bias, then you will not realise the best solution to issues that may face you.

Do you think your tastebuds reveals your ethnicity or do you train your tastebuds to adopt other cultures? By the way, like my friend separating his food groups and it still ends up in the same place, so too will we all, irrespective of ethnic background, end up in a hole when we die. Perhaps even in the same cemetery.

 

Also click and read The Cape Muslim Dialogue: Easter eggs Mass Iftar (capemuslimspeak.blogspot.com)

 

Picture courtesy: https://archive.attn.com